213 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
213 lines
7.2 KiB
Plaintext
// Copyright (C) 2001-2003, International Business Machines
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// Corporation and others. All Rights Reserved.
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//
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// root.txt
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//
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// root resource file for ufortune.
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// This data will be used as a fall-back if no other resource bundle
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// matches the requested locale.
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//
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// ufortune has three resources
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// usage - the usage string to display if there's a command line error
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// or in response to -? or --help.
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// optionMessage - the error text to display in response to an unrecognized
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// option on the command line.
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// fortunes - An array of strings, the fortune messages.
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//
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root {
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usage {"usage: ufortune [-v] [-l locale]"}
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optionMessage {"unrecognized command line option:"}
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//
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// These fortune messages are from BSD fortune data files.
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fortunes {
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"186,282 miles per second:
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It isn't just a good idea, it's the law!",
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"2180, U.S. History question:
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What 20th Century U.S. President was almost impeached and what
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office did he later hold?",
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"$3,000,000",
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"355/113 -- Not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible
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simulation!\"",
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"3 syncs represent the trinity - init, the child and the eternal zombie
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process. In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such
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traditions are important in this shallow, mercurial business we find
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ourselves in.
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-- Jordan K. Hubbard",
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"43rd Law of Computing:
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Anything that can go wr
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fortune: Segmentation violation -- Core dumped",
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"7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)
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The Bionic Dog drinks too much and kicks over the National
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Redwood Forest.",
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"7:30, Channel 5: The Bionic Dog (Action/Adventure)
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The Bionic Dog gets a hormonal short-circuit and violates the
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Mann Act with an interstate Greyhound bus.",
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"99 blocks of crud on the disk,
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99 blocks of crud!
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You patch a bug, and dump it again:
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100 blocks of crud on the disk!
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100 blocks of crud on the disk,
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100 blocks of crud!
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You patch a bug, and dump it again:
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101 blocks of crud on the disk! ...",
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"A \"No\" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a
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\"Yes\" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
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-- Mahatma Ghandi",
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"A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
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Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific
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game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have
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traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there,
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preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass.
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-- Donald A. Metz",
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"A [golf] ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and
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placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or
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rolled into the rough. Such veering right or left frequently results
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from friction between the face of the club and the cover of the ball
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and the player should not be penalized for the erratic behavior of the
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ball resulting from such uncontrollable physical
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phenomena.
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-- Donald A. Metz",
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"A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no
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responsibility at the other.",
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"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
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-- Carl Sandburg",
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"A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out
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of a divorce.
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-- Don Quinn",
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"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining
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and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
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-- Mark Twain",
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"A billion here, a couple of billion there -- first thing you know it
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adds up to be real money.
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-- Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen",
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"A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.",
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"A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.",
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"A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.",
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"... A booming voice says, \"Wrong, cretin!\", and you notice that you
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have turned into a pile of dust.",
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"A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have
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enlightened him with ours.",
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"A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well
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as afterward.",
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"A candidate is a person who gets money from the rich and votes from the
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poor to protect them from each other.",
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"A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness.",
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"A child can go only so far in life without potty training. It is not
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mere coincidence that six of the last seven presidents were potty
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trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.
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-- Dave Barry",
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"A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five.",
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"A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon.
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Avoid him. He's a Commie.",
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"A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
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won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
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-- Bill Vaughan",
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"A city is a large community where people are lonesome together
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-- Herbert Prochnow",
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"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
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wants to read.
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-- Mark Twain",
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"A closed mouth gathers no foot.",
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"A computer, to print out a fact,
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Will divide, multiply, and subtract.
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But this output can be
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No more than debris,
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If the input was short of exact.
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-- Gigo",
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"A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.",
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"A CONS is an object which cares.
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-- Bernie Greenberg.",
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"A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it
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is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.",
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"A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
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-- Dyer",
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"A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the
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damned things is ample.
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-- Rebecca West",
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"A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
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-- Ben Franklin",
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"A crusader's wife slipped from the garrison
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And had an affair with a Saracen.
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She was not oversexed,
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Or jealous or vexed,
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She just wanted to make a comparison.",
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"A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen
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lantern.
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-- Edgar A. Shoaff",
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"A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?",
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"A day without sunshine is like night.",
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"A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur
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coat.",
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"A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
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you will look forward to the trip.",
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" A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was
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eating his morning meal. \"I would like to give you this personality
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test\", said the outsider, \"because I want you to be happy.\"
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Drescher took the paper that was offered him and put it into
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the toaster -- \"I wish the toaster to be happy too\".",
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"A diva who specializes in risque arias is an off-coloratura soprano ...",
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" A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing
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about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their
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arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon
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the doctor said, \"The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because
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Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply
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incredible surgical feat.\" "
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}
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} |